It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
