Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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