Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
