It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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