It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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