I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
