Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
