Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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