you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
