Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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