It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
