As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
