Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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