grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
