Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
