Sry I called you an 8
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Let's get the cat blown out
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
