week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
