you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
