HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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