Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
