youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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