we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize