I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
