We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm really busy with my period
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