We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
