Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
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Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
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Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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