Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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