Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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