miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
