i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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