I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
