you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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