You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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