You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
