I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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