Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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