Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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