My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
