yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
