Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
