my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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