My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize