nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
