yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
