I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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