spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize