Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
