Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
