: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize