She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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