Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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