Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
