Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
