I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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