Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize