Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
