Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
