Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My ATM looks so different sober.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
