Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
