just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize