i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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