I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
